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Friday, July 8th, 2011
2:07 am - The Promise Ring vs. 7/8/2011
I won't lie, this is all cause I'm making a mixtape for someone I wanna makeout with. But listen.

Watching youtube videos of The Promise Ring - Picture Postcard makes me feel all tender towards all y'all. Like, hey, when I quote this song, you're gonna know what I'm talking about. Like, when I put this song on a mix yr gonna know it means I have a crush on you. Like, fuck. FUCK. Do you remember standing in a room of assholes singing along to this stupid fucking song that is now a part of all of our subconscious? A disgusting shared feeling. I guess it's not as gross as I'm making it out to be. It's just watching Davey strum his stupid guitar and sing this stupid song makes me feel this stupid way, and fuck. Can you imagine making out with someone who doesn't get that? How does that work?

Recently a pal said something about how in his old age he had realized that all the "alternative girls" were not the way to go, and all the "normal girls" were so much hotter. The girl I'm fucking right now asked me what the screeching weasel tattoo on my leg was, and when I mentioned the Queers, she laughed and said that's a funny band name. I can't deal.

Am I too old to be punk? I'm 31. I don't like going to stupid shows. I get really annoyed when crowdsurfers kick me. I feel really awkward in west philly. The whole ideal makes me so mad sometimes. But I love punk. I don't know what I'd do without it. Goddamn, you, Promise Ring.

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Saturday, June 18th, 2011
2:10 pm
Just hanging out with two rly great friends at wishing well and Tara is making me update my lj. They have all you can drink mimosa and we are on our 8th. Jeff just ordered the check and the 9th. Now we are going to bjs so Tara can buy large amounts of processed food. Everything is wonderful.

current mood: exanimate

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Sunday, January 31st, 2010
10:45 am
It snowed all yesterday afternoon. When i got off work at 6, I closed up as fast as I could, bundled up, and hopped on my bike, eager to get home. She was coming tonite!

I didn't think much about riding in the snow until I was already doing it. There were almost no cars on the road even though it was so early still, and the streets were so wide and glittery in the streetlights. About an inch of powder crunched under my fatty tires as I slowly rode west down arch st.

Left turn on 6th, and I made my way south. When I ride around in the summer, or on beautiful spring days, I sometimes get this super cheesy giddy feeling that I equate with falling in love with Philadelphia. This was the first time I'd felt so overwhelmed with that feeling during a winter ride. When it's cold out I usually just pull my neck into my jacket like a turtle and get to wherever I'm going as fast as I possibly can. I don't really ENJOY riding in the cold. I'll do it, because I enjoy SEPTA even less, but I think there are very few people in the world who can say they truly LOVE riding their bikes in the winter, the way we do when it's nice out. But last night, I loved riding my bike. The snow was a blanket over the city, and the bitter cold we'd been fighting for days had finally broken. It got so warm inside my clothes that I pulled my bandana off my face. When snow is fresh like that, it doesn't look real. It looks like the fake plastic glitter snow they put up at Ala Moana Mall in Honolulu where my mom would take my sister and I to take pictures with Santa when we were little. No footprints. Just my tires crunching their way softly down the empty street.

I passed South St, a ghost town at 630pm. A couple of blocks down I noticed a couple walking their bikes on the sidewalk. "Ha," I thought. "Look at those losers, too scared to ride in the snow."

A block later I hit a patch of ice and ate shit.

"You ok, honey?" "Baby, you alright?" Passerby and drivers checked up on me.
"Yes. Fine." Embarrassed, and annoyed that now BOTH of my knees were sore, I limped over to the sidewalk to collect myself. The couple that I'd previously scorned passed me, thankfully not making eye contact.

"Whatever," I thought, "It was just a patch of ice. I can make it home from here! It's less than a mile!" I shakily pushed my bike back out into the road and hopped on. Slowly, I rode past Bainbridge, Fitzwater, and FUCK. My tires, caked with ice, slipped out from under me AGAIN. This time my saddle was knocked crooked and my basket was bent. I decided to walk the rest of the way home. I couldn't help but laugh as I passed Washington Ave. See what I get for being so full of myself? Next time I should just enjoy my beautiful winter ride and forget about thinking I'm so much better than everyone else.

Also. Jackson and Lian are right. Nubby cross tires are NOT better for snow. I put my slicks back on this morning. I should probably listen to the two people I know who ride their bikes the most. But like Jackson says, "but you're always right, Noe, right?"

Alsoalso. I think I'm gonna make a comic of this entry for next issue. I think it'd be funny. I'm such a nerd. I'm such a jerk.

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Thursday, January 14th, 2010
4:46 pm
she is my p.r.d.c.t. yes, like the bratmobile song.

A little less than 15 years ago, two teenage outcasts met via the Chainsaw message boards (yo old riot grrrls, remember that???). I was a nerd, I was (pretty sure I was) gay, I was a fucking freak in Hawaii. We both did zines, we both were into mail. A couple of years later we met in person in Olympia at the Yoyoagogo music festival. I remember thinking she was cute.

Over the years we kinda kept in touch, through live journal (LJ!) entries, zine trades, common friends, etc. I saw her picture from the NACCCS last year and was like, hey, i think I know that girl?

This fall I was on the Barred for Life photobook tour with Stew, helping interview people with Black Flag tattoos for his book. We stayed over in Chapel Hill and Susie showed me some pictures of her ex-gf's ex-gf on her computer (i know, it's weird.) I was like... hey, is that girl's name Lian? She's cuuuuuute!

I found out she lives in NY and I was like, we live so close, we need to hangout! So I emailed her and ended up going up to Brooklyn for one of the most fun weekends of my life. I had a major crush.

You know how things go. We have everything in common, yet we're completely different and complementary. We live close enough, yet far enough to keep our own lives seperate from each other. She's the cutest girl I've ever madeout with. She is incredible sweet and caring and affectionate and generous and offensive and hilarious and kind of perfect. I sort of feel like I'm walking around in a dream.

So here's to my NY girlfriend. Everything is so rad.

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Thursday, January 7th, 2010
12:19 pm
kenny thinks i need to update. so this is for you, kenny. i'm going to update ala dorksquad55.

here is my life right now, today, january 7, twentyten.

i am going to new york in 7 hours to see a girl who makes my heart beat in a certain crazy way.

i am going to work at bonejour the fancy pants dog store in 2 hours. while i am there i will work on my drawings of ramona for fun-a-day and i will maybe sell some expensive dog food and clothes to old city gays.

this morning i went to traffic court for a violation i got in november for riding my new motorcycle without insurance and regstration. i now have insurance and registration.

my knee is aching because it is really cold out and i have a torn mcl and a flipped meniscus. i am trying to get insurance so i can get the mri and the surgery i need to have it fixed. i used to think that i'd always rather injure my body than fuck up my bike because my body will heal on its own and my bike will cost money to fix. but this injury taught me that my body can't heal everything on its own. and it really. fucking. sucks.

my band has not practiced in 2 weeks because half of us are moving, a quarter of us are busy with school, and a quarter of us have a new girlfriend in another city. we still do not have a name. this might be my favorite band ever, however. i haven't played fast enough to get blisters since i played in Imminent Riot.

i start teaching Agility 2 classes on Tuesday. i dont have a lot of comments about that.

i am going home to hawaii in mid feb. i am not bringing anyone. i am staying on the north shore and helping my dad with his organic citrus farm and apiary. i will go surfing everyday. i wish i could bring my bike and ride around the island while i am there. maybe i can borrow one from somewhere?

um. that's it. all i've been doing lately is hanging out at home with jackson and the animals, and occasionally getting wasted at parties or bars. i barfed in xavier's sink on xmas eve, and i don't really remember much about new year's eve but apparently i was quite the drunkoid. i went to see avatar the next day with jackson and i had to leave the theatre 3 times during the movie to vom in the bathroom. it was embarrassing. i think it was a combo of the 3-d motion sickness and the hangover in my belly.

happy, kenny?

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Thursday, January 29th, 2009
11:40 am - Eating it.
Yesterday I had quite the Septa experience. It had snowed a bit the night before, and the ground was covered. I almost fell walking the block and a half from Jasmine's house to mine in the morning, so I figured I better not ride my bike to work. Luckily, I had 2 Septa tokens left. After packing Ramona into her special doggy backpack, I walked to the bus stop at 7th and McKean. An older woman was waiting for the bus. She looked at me , and asked if the bus was coming up the street yet. This led into a whole conversation about snow days, and what it was like for her as a kid in the winter (her mom would make her wear one piece snow suits and boots with heavy metal clasps in kindergarten, and she would always have to pee as soon as she got to school, but she couldn't get the frozen metal clasps off, and ended up crying everyday). I rarely have the nerve to have full conversations with strangers, but for some reason I was really talkative that morning - something to do with the break in routine, I think. Kind of like how all my neighbors hung out when the earthquake happened last year in Hawaii.

Anyway, the bus was late. What a surprise. Cars were slippery sliding all over the street; I wasn't really expecting to get to work on time.

After work, I walked back to the bus stop to go home. It was freezing at this point, and there were tons of people at the bus stop, which is usually a good sign because it means the bus hasn't come in a while (i.e., it should be coming soon). I eavesdropped on a woman's cell phone conversation in which she said she'd been waiting for the bus since 6:45. It was 7:15. I kept peeking into the street, sure the bus was coming soon. Ramona's 25 lbs got progressively heavier on my back, and my fingers got progressively colder and colder in my little mitts. Finally, at 7:45, the bus came. I was so relieved, I sank into a seat, and pulled Ramona's bag onto my lap. Suddenly, I noticed Jeff walking up the aisle, awesome surprise! He sat next to me and pet Ramona through the mesh backpack. Somehow, in the next 15 minutes, he talked me into cracking the zipper open "just enough to pet her!" As soon as she smelled the fresh (?) Septa bus air through the open zipper, Ramona shoved her little nose out, followed by her little muzzle, and soon, her whole little head. Jeff and I tried unsuccessfully to contain our nervous laughter, and hoped no one would notice that we had a dog on the bus for the next few blocks.

So I got home, and had to almost immediately pack up for DJing FREE CUPCAKES! at the Khyber. The streets were still way too slippery, so I walked to the bus stop YET AGAIN. This time I was alone, it was freezing, and I had no idea when the bus was coming. I had asked Jackson to look up the bus schedule at home, but he scoffed at me and told me I should just go out and wait. So I did. I stood there for what seemed like forever, and the whole time I complained to myself. This sucks. I hate Septa. I hate DJing. I hate winter. Fuck.

After all that happened yesterday. I woke up this morning determined to ride my bike to work. It was sunny outside, and most of the snow had melted. The sidewalks were still icy, but the streets were pretty clear. Or so I thought. I hopped on my fat-tired Trek, and loaded Ramona into the basket. We were off! It felt good to ride after a day off. I tried to take it slow and look out for icy spots. I turned off 7th onto Passyunk, and noticed some construction up the street. I was thinking about how I'd probably have to get off my bike and walk it up on the sidewalk when suddenly I was sprawled out on the ground. Oh no. Ramona! A woman on bike pulled up next to me and asked if I was ok. I scrambled up and turned to see Ramona shaking herself off, and slip sliding back toward me across the huge patch of black ice I'd fallen on. I walked a block, shaky, before riding the rest of the way to work. Slowly.

I still remember one night last winter, Steph and I went to Jasmine's house when she lived at 15th and Wolf for sushi. It had snowed that day, and as we left to go home, Star warned us to be careful of black ice. I had no idea what she was talking about. Now I do. My knee hurts, but I'd still rather ride my bike then take Septa.

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Friday, October 10th, 2008
4:10 pm - Missed Connections
I've been really into posting these lately. Not really for anyone I missed, but they can serve a million other purposes.

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Wednesday, September 10th, 2008
8:22 pm - Bike Trip!
So I've been really obsessed with the idea of long distance bike touring these last couple of weeks. Unfortunately my bike's a single speed, which is awesome for riding around Philadelphia, but isn't great for going anywhere I might encounter hills. I want to buy a good touring bike eventually and start riding around the country, but I'm starting small.

The first long distance bike ride I took was to valley forge on monday. It's supposedly 16 miles out and 16 back, but according to my bike computer the trip ended up taking us 55 miles total! More on that inconsistency later... I know 55 miles isn't really that much in the touring community but i am fucking proud of myself! Here's the story of my first long bike ride:

So Jasmine and I wake up and eat egg sandwiches and lots of iced coffee for breakfast. We put on sunscreen, pack Ramona in my basket, and head out to Acme where I liberated some yummy $10 cheese, crusty bread, some apples, and goldfish crackers! Of course, we both had to make pee stops on the way to the start of the trail because of all the coffee we drank, so we didn't actually get on the skuylkill trail until about 12:30pm.

We start out pretty strong, going between 13-15 mph. The path isn't very crowded cause it's early yet, and we move along pretty nicely. Neither of us had done this trip before, but multiple people had assured me that it was a super easy route, and we wouldn't get lost. Ha! We biked up to Ridge ave, where we stopped for a second, not sure if we should cross the street and continue the trail or do something else. We decided to continue on the trail, and I'm glad we did cause it was really pretty up there! However... the trail eventually ended and shot us out on a steep fucking hill that I couldn't even make it up (single speed+ramona in a basket+starting from a complete stop=me walking my bike up the hill). We had no idea where we were going, but we kinda just went for a while until we saw a woman who told us we were in Germantown, and told us how to get back to Manayunk. Jasmine was annoyed. I was having fun... I had never been to Germantown before! So we rode around on Schoolhouse lane or something like that, near Philadelphia University, and it was nice. We got to go down a crazy hill, and Ramona decided halfway down that she wasn't into this hill business, and started trying to climb out of her basket onto my back (keep in mind that my back was almost horizontal due to the hill). The hill was so steep and I was already going so fast that my brakes were pretty useless, and I had to try my best to keep Ramona from leaping out to sudden death while keeping myself upright... it was kinda scary. We finally make it back to Ridge Ave (yeah, where this whole thing started, fuck!) and took the right way this time onto Main St. Manayunk. We stopped at the bike shop to make sure we were going the right away, and this time we were.

At this point we joined another path called the Manayunk Tow Path. It was right next to the canal, and unfortunately was gravel for about 2 miles... that sucked. Both Jasmine and I had sore wrists from the constant jolting and we had to ride really slow to avoid kicking up rocks or getting flat tires. Next time I ride to Valley Forge I will find a street route to bypass that stupid gravel shit. After the gravel the path was nicely paved, and it was a straight shot from there. We found a really neat old factory building with crazy graffiti all over the inside. There weren't very many people on the path, so I let Ramona run alongside us for a while... she keeps up!

Finally we made it to Valley Forge! At this point we had ridden about 30 miles. We were both pretty tired and hungry, so we didn't do much there other than eat and take a few pictures of the river. The best part was kissing Jasmine next to the river, then looking up and seeing that someone in a kayak had stealthily pulled up right below us. Um, embarrassing.

I thought the way back would be way harder, but after that little rest I felt fine. Jasmine was mad at me for going too fast (it's not my fault, my gear ratio is just bigger than hers!) so we kept a pretty consistent 10-12 mph on the way back. We saw the city skyline coming up right as the sun was setting, and it was a pretty amazing feeling! We hit the 50 mile mark on the Kelly Drive trail and we got really excited. Well, I did anyway.

We made it home around 7pm. I don't really understand why it took us so long... But it was super fun!

Who wants to come next time? Other ideas for short trips I can do on a single speed in the Philly area?

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Friday, August 29th, 2008
12:18 pm - the day that Del Martin died
So I'm putting together a playlist for the Closer to Fine show tonite - the feminist/queer art show Melanie and Nora set up for their Women's Studies thesis. This is the show that I did the Phyllis n Del screenprint for. The one that was giving me major issues a month ago. The one that I researched and immersed myself in for weeks.

Anyway, I'm working on the playlist, listening to lots of queerish music and feeling happy and excited for the show this evening, and Melanie texts me that DEL MARTIN DIED THIS WEEK. I was listening to the Sarah Dougher song "The Day that Bella Abzug Died" at that exact moment, as I googled Del so I could find out all the details. It's a little spooky the way everything kind of happened all at once with my quick and very intense relationship with Del. I didn't even know who she was a few months ago, then I found out about her and Phyllis, and fell in love with them, and made out with them everyday for weeks, and today she's dead. she's fucking dead. I feel like people must have felt when JFK died, or on 9/11. I know i'll remember this moment forever.

Melanie said she wants to dedicate the show tonite to Del.

I know this is kind of cheesy. I'm gonna do it anyway.

Thanks Del. Bye.

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Sunday, August 24th, 2008
10:28 pm - lucky...
... doesn't even begin to describe it.

jasmine and i rode out to west philly today cause we were bored and the green line has the best iced coffee in the city. we sat there in the cafe and drank our big cups and were immediately loopy. i don't know if it was cause the coffee was ultra caffeinated or cause that's just how she makes me feel, but it was such a good time. everything she said was a million times more funny than usual, and i didn't stop laughing the whole time we sat there. we walked across to clark park and sat on the edge of the dog bowl for a while, watching the dogs frolic, and talking about nothing and everything. such a perfect way to spend a sunday afternoon.

i like all this, a lot.

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Saturday, August 16th, 2008
11:01 am
So last nite Jasmine and I rode up to my house at about 2:00am, and noticed a bunch of people wearing fancy attire spilling out of a house party on Marshall st (that little alley across from my house). We kind of peeked over and saw DeShawn and a few other people we knew, so we decided to go say hi. Turns out my neighbors (who I don't know at all) were having a prom party! fun! The dj was playing Boyz II Men and I really wanted to slow dance. We went into the house and someone at a makeshift bar made me a horrible drink of warm coke and raspberry vodka, and Jaz taught me the macarena.

Suddenly, I felt a large body rubbing up against my back. What could I do but rub back? I danced with the faceless body for a while before turning around to see who it was and HOLY SHIT! It was my fucking block captain.

Ok, I don't know how many of you know the extended saga of me and my block captain. Since moving into our place almost a year ago Jackson and I have had numerous run ins with this lady, most of which ended up being retellable stories. She originally hated me and cursed me out constantly because I accidentally threw Ramona's poop in her private trash can (I didn't know it was hers!!), she is incredibly racist and likes to tell Asians (ALL Asians) to "Go back to Chinese!", she has the loudest voice and is always outside using it in the summer, and best of all, once a cop told me she killed her baby. that's kind of a long story. another time, maybe.

Anyway, yeah, my block captain was rubbing up on me. She was wearing a white fluffy dress that accentuated all of her curves in the most perfect way, and was dancing up a storm (which is funny cause she is supposed to have a major foot injury and is always walking around on crutches... hmm... insurance fraud, anyone?). Luckily, she wasn't the only character at this party, there was also a man with no pants on. Of course, they quickly found each other and luckily she stopped freaking me and started in on Pantsless. We only stayed for about half an hour, and it was really fun, but then I needed to get Jasmine all alone so we started to leave, prompting my block captain to attack me again. Apparently she loves me now! We got upstairs and Jasmine noticed I had a HUGE black lipstick mark on my neck, courtesy of you-know-who. Damn. What a nite.

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Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
11:46 am - Clarity

We spread our mostly naked bodies out on the huge, flat rocks next to the river, pretending to be cold-blooded so we could soak up the heat they'd absorbed. Our bathing suits darkened the rocks in funny patterns, the clouds moved so fast. The sky was huge, that day. The sweet smell of the blunt your friends were smoking made me smile, I pushed my body closer to yours.

August in the Catskills is beautiful. The greens and blues are saturated up there in a way they just aren't in Philly, ever. We thought we'd be bored, that we'd be ready to come home in a day or two, but we were both wrong. Truthfully, I could have been anywhere, as long as you were there. But upstate NY made things even more perfect, if that was possible.

Imagine this: 6 kids standing on the Mosquito Point Bridge, our toes hanging over the edge, 40 feet above the river. We stuck our fingers through the fence and looked down, our hearts mixed up in our guts. Gathering courage, climbing through metal bars, taking deep breaths. Jumping. Falling, falling, and still more falling. Splashing through the glassy surface of the river, white bubbles everywhere, wondering which way is up. Exhiliration, alive-ness! Fuck, yeah!

You told me later that things finally made sense for you while you watched me walk back to you from the island. My hair was sticking up all over my head, I was limping over the slippery rocks, trying not to eat it and look like even more of a dork. You said it was like an epiphany. Shivery, I climbed back up onto your rock, and you wrapped a towel around my shoulders. Then you wrapped your body around my towel. My heart felt like it had after I jumped off the bridge for the first time - bursting. You make me feel like that a lot.

On the bus ride back into the city we cuddled, giggled, and told each other secrets as if we weren't surrounded by strangers. The perfect weather had broken, we drove through the middle of a summer storm. Occasional lightning bolts made me suck in my breath and widen my eyes, made you laugh at me. The rain left streaks on the windows of our bus while I pressed my fingers into yours, and watched you through the sides of my eyes. I was a little sad, thinking about endings, and a little excited, thinking about beginnings. It was early evening, and the sun was setting in the west, to our right. The sky was a spooky orange color, completely surreal. It made me think of that Mates of State song, "I'll let you choose the blue." It would be so like you to choose orange, instead. And I'd probably be grouchy about it until I saw a sky like the one we rode through that night.

Just like the mountain stream on that perfect August day, everything is clear now.

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Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
2:06 pm
i want her to give me secret tattoos. in places only she can see.

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Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
12:06 pm - Best Day Ever
On Sunday I go to the beach with Melissa, Hayden, Q, and Adam. We know there is a 40% chance of rain, but that means there's a 60% chance of not-rain, so we take the gamble and drive 2 hours out to Ocean City with our surfboards. As we pull into downtown O.C., the air coming through the windows of Melissa's van becomes cold and insistent. No one says anything, but we're all thinking the same thing. Melissa pulls up to the boardwalk so we can unload our shit and a huge raindrop hits my arm. Fuck. Q, Adam and I somehow get everything out of the car (2 surfboards, a bodyboard, an umbrella, beach chair, plus all our towels, clothes, books, and other assorted beachy items) and drag it up onto the boardwalk just as the sky opens up. We're huddled under the awning at the hot dog stand, looking out at the lightning bolts hitting the ocean, trying to make jokes about how funny the situation is. Melissa and Hayden join us after securing a parking spot, and we eat funnel cake, play air hockey, and laugh in spite of it all. Chunks of ice hit the boardwalk, my surfboard is pushed over in a gust of wind and almost falls on a baby in a wagon, and Q's arms are covered in goosebumps.

But it stops, eventually. The sun tries really hard to wink at us, and we trudge our caravan through the wet sand to the edge of the water.  After a hilarious wetsuit fashion show, Adam and I pick up the surfboards and paddle out - it's so fun! The waves are small but nice, and the beach is empty. We catch a few waves, and after diving through one, I jump back on my board to see that there is a huge gash in the middle of it. Apparently Adam's board had flown out behind him and collided with mine, also flying out behind me. Shit. I take it to the surf shop and luckily they will repair it, but unluckily it will cost $60 and take two weeks. Mostly I am sad because the waves are so fun and even though it's not a nice day, the water isn't that cold for the first time this year! We spend the rest of the afternoon alternating between surfing on the one remaining board, huddling under the umbrella to shelter from passing squalls, and trying to enjoy the short bursts of sunshine.

We had planned to stay until 5:00, but around 3 or 4 we realize that we're all shivering and this is more an ordeal than a relaxing sunday afternoon at the shore, so we decide to pack up, get some pizza, and head out. Of course, we get drenched one more time in the process.

Apparently everyone else who was down the shore had decided to cut their weekends short as well, and head back on the AC Expressway the same, exact time as us.  In the rainy mess that was loading up the car, I pushed my bladder needs aside, and I'm crouched in the back of the van, in pain. We sit in the slowest traffic ever for hours and hours, finally pulling over to a rest stop so I can pee, and then hours and hours more until we finally cross the bridge back into my city. As soon as we pull up to Melissa's house, it starts to rain again. Of course. I walk home and realize I don't have my keys. And Jackson's out of town for a week. And I want to cry, but it's all so funny I just can't.

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Saturday, July 12th, 2008
1:15 am - melancholy
i had a weird night tonite. i don't want to go into details here, but it ended up that ramona and i came home somewhat early, by ourselves, in a strange mood. i didn't really know what to do with myself. i forced myself to do something productive, so i decided i would figure out how to install photoshop so i could work on my new screenprinting project while I'm finishing the dj mix ive been working on for a few days.

my new project is actually melanie and sarah's idea. i was over at their house a while ago and they showed me the most amazing photo of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, who were the first lesbians to ever get married in sf in Febuary, 2004 (on Ipo's birthday, actually! the day before Valentines day!). Their liscence got voided but then on June 16 they were legally married again and so far this time it's stuck. I've been reading about Del and Phyllis a lot since I started this project and I kind of fell in love with them.

They started living together in 1953. 1953!!!! "We really only had problems our first year together. Del would leave her shoes in the middle of the room, and I'd throw them out the window," said Lyon, to which Martin responded, "You'd have an argument with me and try to storm out the door. I had to teach you to fight back." This made me cry the first time I read it. Phyllis and Del were crazy activists in their time, I guess that was the first wave of feminism? (Melanie, you'll have to school my non-women's studies ass here.) They started an organization called the Daughters of Bilitis which was the first major lezbo organization in the US. They have been active pretty much since then in various organizations to combat homophobia and to provide basic rights for lesbians (such as health care, access to politics, etc). They've written books alone and together, been delegates to the White House together, have an array of health care services named after them (together), and have had a documentary made about their life together. These are some kick ass motherfuckin bitches.

So it's only fitting that they were the first US lezzies to tie the knot. The thing that gets me everytime though is that picture that's floating around the internet. They're standing there in a room of people, two ugly old dykes, wearing pants suits or some shit, and the way their heads are bent towards each other and their foreheads touching - it kind of forms a heart. and it makes me cry.

Maybe this is incredibly selfish. But Phyllis and Del give me hope for my life. Not because I have any desire to get married, ever, really. But they make me think that maybe love isn't all fake and heartbreaking and tricky all the time. That maybe even if she leaves her shoes in the middle of the room or tries to run away during an argument, you can still stick it out and be so on the same page as someone that you can accomplish a million amazing, radical things throughout a very long, cooperative life together, and still love each other enough over 50 years later to want to get married.


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Saturday, July 5th, 2008
4:34 pm - bruises are hotttt.
new owies lately:

lacerations and bruises all over my left shin. i had to pee really bad while we were having a campfire in the woods - i was also quite drunk. i stumbled off and peed (somehow i managed to avoid my shoes, wow!), and on the way back, i completely ate it over a log. helen said all she heard was THUNK "FUCK!"

a huge, mouth-shaped bruise on my right arm. i like to tell people that jasmine bit me, but i really have no idea where it came from.

sore right wrist and random strawberries all over. thanks, jasmine, for making me pack you "old timey style".

long scrapes on my left knee and lower thighs, in various stages of healing. ramona sometimes gets really excited to see me, but obviously she needs a nail trimming.

nasty bruise on my thigh. not sure where this one is from either. i think maybe surfing?

last night before the hilarious bike accident, jasmine said that she didn't want to get on my bike with me cause she thought we'd fall. but really, who cares! bruises and cuts heal, they shouldn't ever stop you from doing anything fun. broken bones suck for 6 weeks, and can be expensive, but is it worth censoring your life? i guess there's a balance. i just think bruises are hotttt.

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2:45 pm - the craziest week
So my mom and sister visited this week... they left on Thursday. It was so amazing to see them again - I missed ipo SOOOOO much! It was really fun to show her around the city and have her become friends with all of my friends. I want her to move here, really bad. Soon, soon, soon. My mom was great too, i kind of like seeing her in small doses like this - 3 days of insane mom-ness, and then no mom for 6 months. it works out well for me.

On wednesday we drove out to Lancaster to eat lunch with a nursey friend of my mom's, and to visit AMISH COUNTRY. Ipo and I had both had very little sleep in the last few days (full days with mom, full nights with pals), and we were all a little loopy. I drove through those farmlands and every once in a while someone would shout, "Look, there's an AMISH!" and my mom would invariably pull out her camera. I tried to explain to her that it's kind of against their religion (graven images and all that), but she was relentless in her quest for a photo of a boy with a bowlcut and suspenders! i had to get past the irritation and just laugh. oh mom.  I was driving along and looking at the landscape, trying to figure out why things looked so different. (Um, other than the fact that there were actual growing things and not just asphalt and cement and brick...) Then I realized I hadn't really seen any mountains in months. oh flat-as-fuck-philly, i love you when i'm on my bike, but seeing some mountains did wonders for my eyes and soul. pennsylvania is a really pretty state. that was one of the few times i'd actually gotten to venture into it!

So last night was 4th of July, and a bunch of amazing kids were sitting on my roofdeck playing with fire, when my next door neighbors called down at us from their roof and we tried (2 times unsuccessfully, 3 times a charm) to throw over some sparklers for them. we ended up on their roof, straining our eyes, pretending we could actually see the art museum fireworks from way down on 6th and tasker (ha!), and eating a giant cupcake with 4 forks. such a fun night!

unfortunately i had to leave because i was djing at The Mansion with Jess.... i had some issues about it all that i need lj to help me work out. ok, so i really wanted to go see matt and kim, the death set, and sgt sass at the barbary, REALLY BAD. but Jess promised me $100 if i played at the mansion with her. here are two things: I wanted my friends to come, because i like it when my friends dance to the music i play. but i also wanted my friends to have the most fun possible that night, and i knew the barbary would be WAY more fun than the mansion (that club is so weird!). so... i didn't know if i should even bother promoting it... arrgh. helen, dory, chrissy, and sarah all came and danced for a while, and that was really fun and nice, and then jasmine showed up after the barbary. she didn't have her bike and she was drunk as fuck, so i walked home with her, and obsessed about whether i was selling out as a dj the whole way back. i love djing because i love music so, so much, and i love making people dance or get excited about songs that i play. i don't dj for money. in hawaii, money wasn't even an option. i promoted and djed for years and rarely made a cent. but philly is different - the opportunity for money is there, and after last night i think i have to be more conscious about why i do things. i HATE the mansion. it's a stupid club and all the people who work there are mean. they comment on your clothes and your hair when you walk in the door, they are sexist and probably homophobic as well (which is weird, considering the promoter/owner/whatever guy is a big faggot!). jess and i were supposed to be tag teaming last night, and i played about half an hour to 45 minutes, and then she went back on for a little while, and then when i went back to go on again, she said that some old balding guy had told her she had to play hip hop or reggae all night because he owned the building. she apologized and promised to pay me the same amount and everything, which should have made the fact that i cancelled really fun plans to play for 40 minutes to an almost empty room ok, right? NO!! Fuck playing shitty music for a stupid rich white guy just cause he OWNS THE BUILDING. That's not why I'm a dj, not at all! the thing that's the most annoying, is i cancelled on Jess when I realized that it was 4th of july and i didn't want to be stuck in the mansion all night. but she talked me out of it, saying that if i cancelled this time the promoter would be pissed and would never ask me to spin there again and they pay so well.... but fuck! after last night i don't even want to play there again anyway! lame. lamelamelame.

sigh. so this morning i was exhausted apparently - i set my alarm for 8 pm, and didn't wake up until 11:45... i was supposed to be at work at 9:45. Also, last night on the long walk home with Jasmine, I got the bright idea that I could pack her on my bike, and she wanted to do it, as she said, "Old timey style" where she sits on my frame and i pedal around her. it actually worked really well for about half a block until she freaked out and we both fell over backwards into a mud puddle. this was all amazingly funny to us at 2am. this morning, with the flat tire on my bike that the fall caused, the sore wrist, and muddy shorts, it wasn't quite so funny. oh jasmine. i love you.

tonight is Modern Love! I know there is a fun party in west philly that i want to go to afterwards, but i hope everyone comes by the dive either before or after tim's party! see you there!

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Thursday, June 26th, 2008
12:02 pm
IPO IS HERE!!!!!!!

I picked her up at the airport yesterday and every minute since has been amazing! I missed her so, so, so much. Last night we went to the Dive with a few people and at one point she was singing this weird old song we learned in girl scouts and no one at the table really "got it" but i was going to die laughing. oh ipo. no one gets us like we get us.

Ipo got to meet Jasmine and Laura which was awesome cause they all love each other! I'm sooo glad. It's so exciting to have her here, meeting people that are important to me and seeing things and places that are important to me, but it's a little scary too. I want her to understand why I love this place so much, and if she doesn't I'll be really sad. So far it's been great though! Tonite I'm torn between taking her to experience Sisters thursday nite or Bob n Barbaras drag show. Leaning towards the drag, tho.

I deleted my whole iTunes on my new computer the other day. It's so fucking annoying. Luckily I have it all backed up, but trying to transfer playlists and ratings and play counts and all that shit is CONFUSING! I wish there was an apple store in the city so I could use my $300 apple care. grrrr.

I have 50 copies of my zine finished!! In time for the Punk Rock Flea Market on Saturday, yay! I think I'm gonna sew the spine cause I don't have my long stapler here. I screenprinted the covers and everyone in my screenprinting class hates me. They also hate Ramona and Ipo. Me, I can understand, but HOW CAN YOU HATE RAMONA????? Now I just have 200 more copies to go...

So let me know yr address if you want a zine. I'm technically selling them this time for $1 each cause i had to ACTUALLY PAY for my copies (I've never done that before... it really sucks.) but whatevs. we can work it out.

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Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
4:37 pm - More reasons to love Philadelphia
My weekend:
On Saturday Jasmine invited me to see the Mates of State with her. It was a big expensive outdoor festival at Drexel, but she got free tickets from her housemate. Turns out they weren't just tickets, but they were VIP PASSES! Which meant we not only got to see a bunch of awesome bands, but we got to hang out in air conditioning, eat gourmet food, drink as much as we wanted, and lay on bean bags under the trees, all day, all free! It would have been awesome to just hang out with Jasmine, but lots of other people we know somehow got VIP passes too, so it was like a big private party. SO FUN. I was drunk from 2pm. After that show, I rode farther into West Philly to a BBQ at the Mitten. A few bands from out of town were playing, along with some Philly acts, and it was so nice. A whole garden filled with dirty kids and dogs, beautiful voices and songs, and the sun setting. Little kids across the street turned on a fire hydrant and were squirting each other with Super Soakers. Helen had a 40, cause Helen always has a 40. I lay back on Sarah's bag and listened to the music, the voices, and the little kids screaming, and I was really happy.

On Sunday Rachel drove Star, Maria, Ramona, and I to the roller derby East Coast Extravaganza/Pool Party! I was djing the first few bouts, from 1030-1pm. EARLY! After I was done I sat outside at the pool for hours, using up my drink tickets and being happy it was summer. It was so funny to see all the roller girls in their bathing suits - they were all covered in tattoos and bruises! The roller derby dance party that night was fun too...

On Monday I had a million errands to run, and then tutoring, but I love tutoring. It's fun to really get to work 1:1 with the kids, and see the light bulbs go on in their heads. Plus, shit. I made a lot of money in 4 and a half hours! Afterwards was queer $1 bowling in NJ. It was so fun to hang out with a bunch of really fun kids. I teased Helen the whole way there (and it was a LONG ride, cause Sarah got lost!!) about being on the nerdy bowling team in college, and then I bowled a strike on my first turn. Fuck yeah! But as the night went on and the $1 beers flowed, my bowling skills declined. The two best parts of the night: glitter fake tattoos, and Melanie bowling in my lane. It's so, so nice when everyone gets together for something fun like that!

Today... work. I'm finalizing my zine cause I'm printing tomorrow!!! Tonight is Ricky's birthday party at Rittenhouse park and an outside movie with Emil. I feel like my life is a neverending weekend. I love it! I LOVE PHILADELPHIA!!

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Saturday, June 21st, 2008
10:57 am
i forgot how much i loved the automatics. it's so fun to rediscover whole genres of music you haven't listened to in ages!!

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